WHERE HAS ALL THE DATA GONE?

I’m noticing as the days and months unfold
my memory for the things of the previous day
have hidden themselves from my search engine and
I can’t retrieve ordinary events that used to
be for me a snap.
Sometimes a word or happening or a prayer
play hide and seek and frustration sets in. It’s
there on the end of my tongue, but I can’t spit it out.
It’s like trying to catch the brass ring on the Merry-Go-Round
without having any fingers. Fear starts to make its presence felt,
and I don’t like fear as it turns us into wimps and ties our hands
and keeps us from making necessary changes, or getting help.
I know that age has something to do with it, and
serious illness which calls for strong medications worsens
the situation.
On the brighter side, my long term memory is blossoming
and it’s wonderful to remember what my childhood was like.
So I guess you could say, one door shuts, another opens,
or God giveth and God taketh away. Praise be to God.
I have had a major fear since we visited Lourdes, France
where on coming out of the Cathedral with my family;
one minute they were with me and the next they were nowhere
to be found. It was as if they vanished before my eyes. I became
frozen in fear, and I didn’t speak French. After what seemed like
hours, I think my angel brought to my mind about the parking lot,
and I knew where that was, so I went there and waited for
them to show up, which they did, later. I was so relieved that I
didn’t mind the scolding I got, which I’m sure came from
his own fear that something had happened to me. I just kept my
lips sealed and thanked God for a happy ending.
To this day I periodically have this nightmare about being
lost and I awaken terrified.
I believe that my memory loss, which is like being lost in
my head is the same as being physically lost, like I was in France.
Help me Lord to accept the things I cannot change.

Margaret Rose Larrivee
Apr. 22, 2007